i want people to see me lose weight at a fucking supersonic and wonder if I’m ok. I want to go to class in cold November and December all bundled up in sweatpants and a sweatshirt and still have noticeable weight loss and my nose red from the cold and my eyes all baggy and my skin pale. i want people to care about me. i need to earn their attention and affection. I need to prove my pain. and honestly its better to be skinny and fucked up than fat and fucked up. if you’re skinny, its like “I'm worried about her. is she ok?” if you’re fat its like “her life is a mess. that’s so pathetic and lonely.” So if life is going to suck i should at least be skinny. I don't want to walk around looking down when I’m having a bad day and people looking at me and thinking I’m chubby. That's the worst. plus if I’m skinny then people will want comfort me. at least if im skinny i will deserve some type of love, because honestly, i have to much baggage for anyone to love me while I’m fat. Too many secrets. I need to work for love. I need to make up for my flaws with my appearance. If I really want that, then i shouldn’t eat. If i don’t want to be a pathetic emotional eater, I need to be skinny.
No one cares if you’re fat and ugly and depressed. Just if you’re pretty and depressed.
whinytinyandcute
